Search found 48 matches

by Arjak
Wed Aug 26, 2015 2:49
Forum: Unofficial Keen Games
Topic: Sign of the Vool
Replies: 225
Views: 135192

lemm wrote:Image

I modified the drawing code; now the game only stores one shift per sprite. It saves a huge amount of memory!
Wow. That's like...John Carmack level sh*t you're pulling, Lemm! Much kudos.
by Arjak
Thu Aug 30, 2012 18:43
Forum: Unofficial Keen Games
Topic: The Unofficial TUIT Revision Betas
Replies: 128
Views: 93842

Has any work been done on this lately? It's been a few months...
by Arjak
Sat Nov 26, 2011 20:20
Forum: Unofficial Keen Games
Topic: The Unofficial TUIT Revision Betas
Replies: 128
Views: 93842

Found a couple bugs in Keen 9, Beta 5: -In the Game section of the help menu, on Page 21, it says "other" twice when discussing that there may be other places for Keen to visit. -When I made it to the Warpcore level, I got an error message, stating that there wasn't enough memory for background music.
by Arjak
Wed May 11, 2011 16:49
Forum: Other Keen Stuff
Topic: Commander Keen Novelization - Arjak's version
Replies: 65
Views: 24851

Gah, sorry for my post. I don't dislike sympathetic Mort at all, I was just saying "wow Mort's sympathetic now" because I was surprised and intrigued that you're building his character that way. Don't worry about it, I understood. I could tell that your "wow" was one of surprise and intrigue. Your ...
by Arjak
Mon May 09, 2011 19:06
Forum: Other Keen Stuff
Topic: Commander Keen Novelization - Arjak's version
Replies: 65
Views: 24851

Wow! I was starting to think that after the last chapter that either people had lost interest or that a sympathetic Mort was just too much to handle. With there not being that many replies at first, I had almost forgotten about this story! I should warn all of you, though, that I have not done ANY p...
by Arjak
Tue Feb 08, 2011 23:27
Forum: Release Forum
Topic: Keen 9: Battle of the Brains
Replies: 614
Views: 277926

WOW!

I just completed Battle of the Brains (by repeated saving, of course), and I must say, I was very impressed! The final battle with Mortimer was very well executed and challenging! I was amazed by his AI and how "smart" he seemed (although I guess that should be expected). My only complaint was that ...
by Arjak
Sun Jan 30, 2011 6:43
Forum: Unofficial Keen Games
Topic: Keen 9: Battle of the Brains
Replies: 1387
Views: 417163

NO CHEATS!!!???

I'm totally boned...especially if this game is as epic as Ceilick is making it sound... :dead
by Arjak
Mon Oct 25, 2010 4:49
Forum: Other Keen Stuff
Topic: Commander Keen Novelization - Arjak's version
Replies: 65
Views: 24851

Very well, Overflow! You want more? You got more!

Here's the last paragraph of Chapter 3, and all of Chapter 4:

Tom’s offer to help gave Billy’s spirits a much needed lift. That weekend they made a ton of progress on the ship’s outer shell and it wouldn’t be long before they could start on the electronics.
The next week didn’t go quite as planned.

Chapter 4

That Monday, Billy, Tom, and a group of kids were playing touch football when Mortimer suddenly marched up to Billy with a smile on his face.
“So, Billy,â€￾ he said, “I assume you’ve heard the news…â€￾
Billy groaned. He knew this ‘news’ would mean nothing good for him. All the kids ran over and stood behind Billy for support. They knew just as well as Billy that this confrontation had little chance of ending on a positive note.
McMire snorted in laughter at the sight. “What’s this, Billy? An army?â€￾
“Just tell us what you want and beat it, Mort,â€￾ Billy said with all the courage he could muster.
“Not much, I just wanted to compare our test scores now that mine have gotten back from being double-checked. I thought it would be interesting to see where we stand!â€￾
Billy smirked. He had a feeling that he was going to enjoy this.
“Well, Mort, I got news for you,â€￾ he said with confidence, “I have an IQ score of 314!â€￾
Mort looked straight into Billy’s eyes with a tense expression.
“You’re lying.â€￾
“It’s absolutely true, Mort!â€￾ Tom said, inserting himself into the conversation, “I saw the test results myself.â€￾
Billy’s group of friends started giving him slaps on the back and congratulating him. Billy could almost feel his self-esteem inflating.
Suddenly, Mortimer started laughing. He grinned at Billy with total glee. Then he pulled out an envelope from his back pocket and handed it to Billy, who opened it hesitantly. Inside were Mortimer’s test results. Billy glanced through until he got to the final IQ number. He did a double take.
No! This can’t be! It has to be a mistake!
According to the test results, Mortimer McMire’s IQ was 315.
Billy’s jaw dropped in a combination of shock and slight horror. He felt like Mort had just stuck a pin in his inflated ego, and he could see that Mort had not only planned this from the beginning, but was enjoying every moment of the results.
“No…â€￾ Billy moaned.
“As you can see, Billy, you can’t be the best in everything,â€￾ Mort said with enthusiasm, “in this case, you are second best. It was close, I admit it, but I’m afraid this isn’t a game of horseshoes; close doesn’t cut it!â€￾
Billy could hardly contain his anger and frustration. Just when he thought he had finally shown Mortimer that there was an arena in which he could defeat him, this had to happen! It wasn’t fair! Now Mortimer had to milk his final blow for all it was worth; and Billy couldn’t take it. He felt totally crushed.
“OK, I admit it…you win.â€￾
Mort patted Billy on the shoulder insultingly.
“That’s all I wanted to hear,â€￾ Mort said in a mockingly sweet voice, “I know it hurts, Billy, but sometimes you just have to admit that you’ve been beaten.â€￾
Mort’s voice dropped to a whisper.
“Isn’t that right, Mister Three-Fourteen?â€￾
It was at that moment that Billy snapped. With a large bellowing scream of anger, Billy swung his fist right into Mort’s nose. Mort stumbled backwards in shock as his nose began to ooze blood, but Billy, unable to take any more of Mort’s abuse, kept swinging. After a few seconds, Billy was sitting on Mort, punching him over and over for what seemed like an eternity, while the rest of his group of friends stood there laughing and jeering, until a playground monitor finally pulled him off and dragged him away, Billy’s eyes began to fill with tears as the monitor dragged him to the office. Mort just sat there in shock. Tom stood there with his mouth agape. He had never seen his best friend react like that before.

Mort rose to his feet and brushed himself off as several more teachers arrived on the scene.
“Are you all right, Mortimer?â€￾ asked one.
“Eh, I’ve had worse,â€￾ he lied.
“All the same, we better get you to the nurse.â€￾
Mort turned to face the group of Billy’s friends.
“As you can see,â€￾ he snarled, “mind almost always wins over brute muscle!â€￾
“That’s a load of crap, Mort! You’re no genius!â€￾ said a kid in the back of the group.
“Yeah, you must have cheated on that test!â€￾
Suddenly, Mort’s eyes widened in shock.
“My dad says that it doesn’t matter how smart you are if you never apply yourself!â€￾
“Shut up,â€￾ said Mort.
“Mort is a cheater!â€￾ said another kid.
“Shut up!â€￾ Mort commanded.
Suddenly, to Mort’s horror, the kids began to chant in a mocking sing-song voice.
“Mort is a cheater! Mort is a cheater! Mort is a cheater!â€￾
Mort began to scream at them to stop, but they just chanted louder and louder until finally, Mort howled as if he were being physically hurt by the chant.
“All right, that’s enough!â€￾ said a teacher.
It didn’t do any good. The chanting continued.
“Mort is a cheater! Mort is a cheater! Mort is a cheater!â€￾
Suddenly, Mort did something that the kids had never seen him do before.
He started to cry.
Then he ran into the school building screaming.

Billy sat in a chair in the Principal’s office, completely ashamed of himself. It didn’t hear a word of the Principal’s reprimand, all he could think about was that he had let himself act as bad as Mort. As he left the office, he saw Tom standing there, looking more concerned than Billy could every remember seeing him.
“Are you OK, Billy?â€￾ he said solemnly.
Billy sighed and gave an honest answer, “I don’t know.â€￾
Tom caught him up on what happened in the schoolyard after Billy had been dragged away by the playground monitor.
“What? They really did that?â€￾
“Oh, yes. They were really after him.â€￾
“I guess…they had finally had enough of him as I did.â€￾

As Billy walked out of the school towards the bus, he began to think about the events that had transpired at recess. He felt completely depressed thinking about his shameful behavior. The Principal had called his parents and told them what happened, so he knew he was in for an earful.
Billy was so lost in thought that he almost didn’t see Mortimer quietly sitting on a step near the entrance. Cautiously, he walked up to him and tried to form his thoughts into words. He tried to shape the words into an apology in his mind, but after all he had been through, it was harder than he expected. Suddenly, he saw a single tear drop from Mortimer’s hung head.
“M-Mortimer? Are you crying?â€￾
Suddenly, Mort’s head whipped to face Billy. Billy gasped at the sight. Mort’s face was not only covered in bruises from Billy’s fists, but was also quite red from constant crying.
“What?â€￾ Mort scowled, “Come to laugh? Go ahead! I don’t care!â€￾
“Mort…I’m-I didn’t mean to-â€￾
“SHUT UP! I don’t care what you have to say! It doesn’t matter anyway!â€￾ Mortimer snapped.
He looked back down at the ground.
“I finally did my best…â€￾ he sobbed, “I finally did something I was proud of…I finally showed everyone that I could do something right…â€￾
He looked up at Billy and stared hatefully at him.
“…but did it matter? Of course not! No one cares! No one ever cares…â€￾
“Mort…â€￾ Billy stammered.
Suddenly, Mort stood up, and turned to face Billy.
“You’re not going to get away with what you all did to me, Billy Blaze! DO YOU HEAR ME!? One of these days, all of you mental wimps are going to pay for how you’ve treated me! I don’t know how…but you are all going to pay!â€￾
Suddenly, Mortimer turned and ran until he was out of sight.
Billy stood and stared in shock. He had seen Mortimer angry in the past, but never like this. He also had a dark feeling deep in his gut that Mortimer wasn’t just out of control, and had meant everything he said.
As Billy got off the school bus and walked towards his house, he saw flashing lights in the distance. As he got closer, he realized that they were the lights of a Police car. For some reason Billy couldn’t comprehend, he felt himself pulled towards the car. He broke into a run towards the flashing lights. As he got closer he realized that the car was parked outside of Mortimer’s house.
Billy skidded to a halt, turned, and walked in the other direction, back towards his house. He didn’t need to see anymore. He already knew.
Mortimer had run away, and Billy had no idea when or even if he would ever see him again.
by Arjak
Thu Oct 07, 2010 2:21
Forum: Miscellaneous
Topic: Corrupt A Wish game
Replies: 1213
Views: 281516

Granted. You now have to listen to the rest of your class being jerks about it:

"What's the point of this sh*t?"

"Why would I want to read a book? An OLD book even!"

"I'm only taking this class for easy credit."

And so on.

I wish I could stop being so lazy.
by Arjak
Thu Oct 07, 2010 2:07
Forum: Unofficial Keen Games
Topic: Keen 9: Battle of the Brains
Replies: 1387
Views: 417163

Glad to see you here, Cuetlachtli! It's always great to have new members!

And don't worry, we're just as excited about Keen 9 as you are! The 80 pages of almost nothing but wanting to know how much closer it is to being finished than it was 2 hours ago is proof. :p
by Arjak
Thu Oct 07, 2010 0:24
Forum: Other Keen Stuff
Topic: Commander Keen Novelization - Arjak's version
Replies: 65
Views: 24851

Here is Chapter 3, or at least the majority of it. Enjoy!

Chapter 3

From that day forward, Billy Blaze’s popularity jumped a couple notches. All of a sudden, other kids seemed to actually find him pleasant company, instead of avoiding him like the plague. He wasn’t the equivalent of the big man on campus; far from it, but it was enough for him to be simply accepted.
It was learned (by who knows what means) that Mortimer was suspended for a full month; a new school record. Billy found this quite a relaxing change of pace, and he and Tom made sure to enjoy every minute of it as much as possible. They knew that when Mortimer returned, that things would likely be worse than ever.
At the end of that day, as Billy got off the bus, he saw his parents waiting for him. Billy, still not fully rid of his stress, ran and gave them a big hug. He didn’t care about the kisses; he was simply happy (and amazed) to be still alive.
“How was your first day? Did you make any friends?â€￾ asked Mom.
“Yeah, I did,â€￾ said Billy, who was still trying to sort through the events of the past six hours.
“Are you alright, son?â€￾ asked Dad, “you seem a little out of it.â€￾
“Well, I got into another fight with Mortimer…â€￾
“Him again? God, someone needs to do something about that kid…â€￾
“What happened? Are you alright?â€￾ asked Mom, quite concerned.
“No permanent damage; my stomach still hurts, though.â€￾
Billy lifted up his shirt to take a look at his wounds. Mom gasped in shock. Dad slapped his forehead. Billy had a huge, dark bruise where Mort had struck him.
“That’s it!â€￾ said Dad, “I’m marching straight over to that punk’s house, and I’m going to have a word with his folks!â€￾
“Uh, Dad? I think he’s got enough on his plate as it is.â€￾
Billy explained everything in detail, from the encounter in the morning, all the way up to the showdown in the restroom. As he was bandaged up, his parents offered to cancel their dinner reservations, but he insisted that he’d be fine, and so, his favorite babysitter was called. Molly McMire, Mort’s older sister, was a far cry from her brother; she was sweet, kind, and seemed willing to put up with just about anything, but was just as tough as Mort when needed.
A few minutes later, she was at the door, looking quite exhausted.
“Thanks for coming on such short notice, Molly,â€￾ thanked Billy’s mom, “Billy’s brother is at football practice, and we really had no one else to turn to.â€￾
“Oh, it’s no problem at all, Mr. and Mrs. Blaze. It’s actually a relief! Mortimer was throwing a huge tantrum!â€￾
“How mad is he?â€￾ asked Billy, sounding quite concerned for his own safety.
“I’d say somewhere in the region of…totally unglued, but don’t worry. It’s been made clear that if he lays a hand on you again, he’ll wish he’d never been born!â€￾

A few weeks later, when Mortimer had not been back at school long, the IQ test scores were handed out in sealed envelopes. Billy and Tom opened theirs during recess.
“Wow! I did better than I thought! 115! That’s good, right?â€￾ Tom said excitedly.
“That’s great, Tom…â€￾ Billy said as he stared at his paper in confusion.
“What’s wrong, Billy?â€￾
Billy didn’t answer for several moments, but when he finally did…
“There must be some mistake!â€￾ was all he could say.
“Oh come on, Billy! It can’t be that bad! What’s your score? What does it say?â€￾
“It says my IQ score is…314.â€￾
Tom’s jaw dropped.
“What!? That’s impossible! Even the brightest geniuses never get far above 200!â€￾
“I know…â€￾
Suddenly, the intercom on the side of the school building, crackled.â€￾
“Billy Blaze, please report to the principal’s office.â€￾

As Billy walked through the doors and down the halls of the school, his mind raced at top speed, but it always came back to the same question: What is this about? As he entered the outer office he heard Mort’s voice behind the closed door.
“Oh yeah? Prove it!â€￾
The principal sighed.
“Look, Mortimer, your record is against you…we don’t know what you did, or how, but this is suspicious at best!
The next voice Billy heard was that of his teacher.
“Mort must’ve done something to the computers…cracked the security and edited his test results…look, I’m just saying it’s possible!
“Argh, I’m tired of these conspiracy theories!â€￾ said the principal, “Mort doesn’t know anything about hacking! There’s no evidence he’s ever done it!â€￾
“Well, he must have cheated somehow!â€￾ said the teacher, “perhaps he looked at Blaze’s test.â€￾
“They sit on opposite sides of the room! It’s just not possible!â€￾
“Can I go now?â€￾ Mort interrupted.
A few seconds later, Mortimer opened the door and swaggered down the hall, looking more triumphant than Billy could ever remember seeing him before. Then Billy was called into the office himself.

“Hello, Billy,â€￾ said Principal Harris, “please have a seat.â€￾
Billy did so, and the principal began to speak.
“Billy, I assume that you know why you are here, having gotten back your IQ test and all, and being as…intelligent as you are, I’m sure you also understand how this…situation looks to us.â€￾
“I didn’t cheat,â€￾ Billy stated matter-of-factly.
Harris sighed.
“There is no evidence that you did, Billy; but to tell you the truth, I don’t know what to think about all this. I’ve never seen anything like it in all my years working at this school.â€￾
Billy could tell that Mr. Harris was greatly understating his feelings. He looked like he had seen a ghost.
“I don’t know…maybe I should ask them to recheck the results.â€￾
“You forget, Mr. Harris,â€￾ the teacher remarked, “that McMire received similar results.â€￾
“It must be a computer error.â€￾
“Anyway,â€￾ said the teacher, “I’ve scheduled a Parent-Teacher Conference in two weeks for you, Billy. By then we should have this sorted all out.â€￾

The two-week wait was agonizingly long for Billy Blaze. Even working on his “secret projectâ€￾ wasn’t taking his mind off things; it actually made him think about it more. One day, while taking apart a vacuum cleaner to examine the inside and see if it could be used for his invention, he suddenly began second guessing himself.
Until recently, I thought this is just the kind of stuff kids my age do. Maybe I’m going too far. What if I really am some kind of genius? Does that mean this thing I’m making here is a work of incredible insight?
Billy stared thoughtfully at the large pile of old soup cans, jars of rubber cement, and salvaged plastic tubing sitting in one corner of his workshop. Then he stared at the blueprints he had sketched on large sheets of graph paper, stacked on his desk. Suddenly, he felt that he was being optimistic to the point of mental illness thinking that he could actually build what he trying to with the materials he had spent months “borrowingâ€￾ from the dump.
His heart sank. He had been hoping that this would be the big one, the project that, when finished, would make him the coolest guy in school. Now, he was contemplating abandoning it just in case he was going to make a fool of himself.
Suddenly, he heard the secret knock that he had taught Tom being rapped on the door.
“Come in.â€￾
“Hey, Billy! What’s up?â€￾
“Not much. Did your sister ever find that teddy bear?â€￾ Billy asked with a sardonic smile.
“Nope, I think it’s gone forever. Nancy is still throwing a huge fit about it.â€￾
Tom walked across the workshop and collapsed in a chair that Billy had brought in for him.
“You know, I thought you kept the door locked to prevent anyone from stealing your ideas,â€￾ he pointed out.
“I guess I feel that there’s no point. I’m never going to finish this! And even if I do, it’s never going to work!â€￾ Billy lamented.
“Oh, come on, Billy! You’re a super-genius! If anyone can make this work, you can!â€￾
“I’m really starting to doubt those test results.â€￾
There was a moment of uncomfortable silence.
“What are you making, anyway?â€￾ Tom asked, trying to cheer up his friend.
“See for yourself. The plans are on the table.â€￾
Tom stood up and gazed curiously at the many sheets of graph paper on the old wooden desk. Soon, his curiosity began to turn to shock, and finally, amazement.
“It’s…It’s a spaceship.â€￾
by Arjak
Thu Oct 07, 2010 0:17
Forum: Other Keen Stuff
Topic: I want to ruin your life
Replies: 15
Views: 8257

Sorry, Wolf 3D was released in '92. System Shock was released in '94.

They're both amazing games though!
by Arjak
Thu Oct 07, 2010 0:09
Forum: Miscellaneous
Topic: Corrupt A Wish game
Replies: 1213
Views: 281516

Granted. Now you have no chance of passing math class.

I wish Commander Keen games were still being made by id Software and Tom Hall.
by Arjak
Wed Oct 06, 2010 21:38
Forum: The Theater
Topic: weaboo rant on an anime dub aimed at children
Replies: 11
Views: 7392

Welcome, JMF! It's good to have you here! Please enjoy your stay!
by Arjak
Wed Oct 06, 2010 21:06
Forum: Other Keen Stuff
Topic: Commander Keen Novelization - Arjak's version
Replies: 65
Views: 24851

Since I never posted Chapter 2 in this thread, here you go:

Chapter 2

“Now, as you all know,â€￾ began the teacher after taking attendance, “today you will be taking the Wisconsin State IQ Test.â€￾
All the kids except for Billy and Mortimer groaned.
“Don’t worry,â€￾ the teacher said, “this is all strictly for fun; it will have no impact on your financial future or anything like that. It’s just to see how all of you are progressing academically. If you have studied hard and know the material well, you should do fine. Please note that there are some questions based on advanced material that you probably won’t be able to answer, but as I said, it’s only to study your growth from an educational perspective.â€￾
Most of the students looked suspiciously at the teacher, while Billy wondered, ‘How will this really affect my future?’
After all the students got a test from the teacher, returned to their desk, and got out their pencils, the teacher said, “You have one hour to answer as many questions as you can. You may begin.â€￾
Billy quickly grabbed his pencil and read the first question, which was easily answered, as was the second, third, fourth, and fifth.
‘This is sissy math!’ he thought to himself.
Mortimer was also making a good start. ‘I may not be the most well-ordered mind in the universe,’ he thought, ‘but I’m not stupid!’
As Billy made his way through the test, he started to feel that the questions were not getting any harder, which left a bad taste in his mouth.
‘Maybe education really is going down the drain…’ he thought.
The questions did get harder, eventually. By that time, though, Billy was getting near the end of the test, and the questions were based on stuff he had only learned by reading his older brother’s textbooks. By the time he finished the test, he was stunned to see that only half of the prescribed hour had past. He was just getting up to deliver his test and answer sheet to the teacher when Mortimer shoved past him.
‘Is he already done, too!?’ he wondered.
Apparently, he was. They had finished at approximately the same time. Billy was suspicious about this, but dismissed these thoughts as he walked down the aisle to his teacher’s desk. He gave Billy a confused look, but took it anyway.

Later that day, during lunch, Billy discussed his thoughts about the test with his new friend, Tom.
“So, how did you do, ya think?â€￾ asked Tom.
“Eh, okay,â€￾ was Billy’s only response.
“Just okay!? You finished it! I only got about two-thirds of the way through!â€￾
“You didn’t finish it?â€￾
“Only you and Mr. Grouch did.â€￾
Billy didn’t respond; he was deep in thought.
“Well, anyway. I don’t know how I’m going to stand waiting a month to see how stupid I am.â€￾
“Oh, please!â€￾ said Billy, “You’re not stupid!â€￾
“Yeah, but compared to me, you’re a genius.â€￾
They ate for a while.
“So,â€￾ Billy finally asked, trying to make small talk, “what’s home like?â€￾
“Awful. My little sister misplaced her teddy bear and is saying I stole it! I never touched the stupid thing! But, my parents, of course, believe everything she says. They actually said, “Well, Tom? It certainly wasn’t space aliens!â€￾
Suddenly, from a nearby table, Mortimer exclaimed, “What is this stuff? Dog dirt? They actually expect me to eat this?â€￾
The two friends smiled.
“Why does Mort always get away with everything?â€￾ asked Tom.
“Because no one can catch him in the act. He’s so sneaky that he never does anything when teachers are looking. He usually waits until his victim is alone. The teacher’s all know about him, of course, but they can’t do anything about him because they never see him do it.â€￾
“That’s bull.â€￾
“Tell me about it.â€￾
A few minutes passed of silence before Tom spoke up again.
“Ya know, all that bull about this not affecting our futures got me thinking; what do you want to be when you grow up?â€￾
“An astronaut or spaceship engineer; no question about it,â€￾ Billy replied without hesitation.
“Cool! I want to be a photographer. I was thinking about maybe becoming a photo journalist, or something.â€￾
“Really? You seem more like the computer game programmer type to me.â€￾
Tom laughed. “Where did you get that idea?â€￾
“I dunno, just sorta came to me.â€￾
“Yeah, well I sure love taking pictures! Maybe I could show you some of mine?â€￾
“Sure! But,â€￾ Billy said, lowering his voice, “you might want to keep this photography stuff to your self. Mortimer would instantly target you as a nerd if he found out.â€￾
“Right. Want to see some pictures?â€￾
Tom pulled out a Polaroid camera and a photo album from his backpack.
“Well, you obviously know what this is…â€￾ Tom said, brandishing his camera before putting it back in his backpack. Then he opened the photo album.
There were lots of great pictures; pictures of everything from old friends and family to hilarious jokes. One in particular caught Billy’s attention. It showed a man peeing on a bush in the forest turning around with a horrified look on his face as he looked into the camera. They had a huge bout of uncontrollable laughter. But then Billy took a closer look and made an incredible discovery.
“Wait a minute, that’s Mort’s dad on that camping trip he and Mort took last month!â€￾
Then they laughed even harder than before, so hard that most of the cafeteria was staring at them.
“What’s so damn funny?â€￾
Suddenly, they stopped laughing. The speaker was Mortimer, who was heading right for them. Tom quickly closed the album, and they pretended to eat, but it did no good. Soon, Mortimer was standing right behind them.
“I said, what’s so funny?â€￾
“Nothing,â€￾ said Billy, “now go back to your table and eat your dog dirt.â€￾
Tom chuckled nervously. Mortimer’s eyes narrowed.
Suddenly, Mort grabbed the album and started flipping through it. Billy and Tom were considering trying to sneak away, when all of a sudden, Mortimer let out a huge scream of shock and anger. Then he pointed at Tom, and bellowed.
“I’LL KILL YOU!â€￾
Mortimer charged at them. Tom thought he was dead meat, but Billy stuck his foot out and tripped Mortimer in a similar fashion to his own experience earlier. Mortimer hit the ground with a hard thud and grunt of pain, while Billy and Tom ran for their lives out of the cafeteria, down the main hall, and seeing a small supply closet, ran over to test the doorknob. Fortune smiled upon them; the door was unlocked. They quickly, without realizing just how tactically dangerous this was, closed themselves inside.

The two kids assessed their situation.
“What do we do now!?â€￾ Tom was starting to freak.
Billy tried to quiet his friend, but their situation was problematic. They were trapped with nowhere to go if Mort found them, and they were too afraid to try and find a new hiding place.
Then they heard footsteps coming closer. Tom started praying, and Billy started crying, both believing the end was near while still trying to stay as quiet as possible.
The footsteps came closer and closer until they were right outside the door.
Then the door opened.
Tom and Billy screamed.
The person who opened the door screamed, too.
Billy’s eyes adjusted to the light and gave a sigh of relief.
It was only the janitor.

“What are you guys doing in here!? Get out!â€￾
They did, and the janitor mumbled about those ‘damn sneaky kids’ as he got out a mop and bucket and walked off with them, closing and locking the door to the closet as he left.
“Now what?â€￾ asked Tom.
“Maybe Mort gave up?â€￾ theorized Billy.
“I hope so.â€￾
“Me too; that scared the crap out of me! I need to take a wiz!â€￾

In the restroom, Billy tried to sort through his thoughts as he used the urinal. He wanted to protect Tom from Mort, but how? He could barely protect himself from him! And this time, he was out for blood.
After releasing some stress, Billy zipped up and flushed.
Suddenly, he heard a sinister voice behind him.
“Hi, Billy!â€￾
Before he could react, Mortimer grabbed him by the hair and pulled him into the open area around the sinks. Billy cried out in pain, but no one was there to help him. Even if anyone had heard his screams, they would’ve just thought he had bad constipation.
“I’ve had as much as I can stand of you, Billy! I’ve been waiting for this moment all summer!â€￾
Mort gave Billy a hard knee to the stomach. He went limp; the pain was too much to bear. He was doomed. Mort dragged his prey towards a stall and was just about to drown him when suddenly, hope gave him a chance.
There was a huge flash of light. Mort turned and saw Tom, camera out, picture ejecting from it. Mort stood there in shock, giving Billy the opportunity he needed. He punched Mortimer in the weak spot.
Mort howled in pain, dropping Billy in the process. Then he and his new best friend ran for it.
They were at the door when Principal Harris opened it, causing the two kids to run right into him. They collapsed in a heap.
“What is going on here!?â€￾ he exclaimed as he brushed his suit off.
“Mortimer tried to kill us!â€￾ they both said at the same time.
“What!? That is a serious accusation, Mr. Blaze! I trust you have proof?â€￾
Mortimer was just emerging from the stall that was to be Billy’s grave as Tom handed the principal the photo he took, who shook it to accelerate the developing process. As Mort took in the scene and began to realize what was happening, he moaned; it didn’t take a genius to realize that he was in deep.
By this point, a crowd of students had gathered outside the restroom, all trying to see what was going on, and whispering to each other.
As the image of Mortimer attempting to drown Billy revealed itself to Principal Harris, he looked at the assailant with narrowed, angry eyes. Mortimer stuttered, trying to come up with an excuse, but it was no good.
“Mortimer!â€￾
“But-but…he punched me in the nuts! What do you call that!?â€￾
“Self-defense,â€￾ countered Billy through clenched teeth.
“I don’t want to hear it, McMire! I’ve had a lot of reports over the last two years about you harassing students, but now I have proof! Get your things and come to my office, Mortimer McMire! You’re suspended until further notice!
Suddenly, the crowd, which had heard every word, broke into an immense cheer.