Commander Keen: the comic strip

Lava89 · Post by **Lava89** » Fri Apr 03, 2009 22:44

I thought this latest one was nice.

As for some unsolicited but constructive criticism: even though this last one had some good art (as always) and I liked the fresh premise of Keen having to put the parts back in, I thought the punchline (*) could've dug a little deeper -- as MortimerInBlack pointed out (though not in criticisim), the "stun the parents" idea has already been done in Keen 4: Oracle....I'm not saying it's horrible, I am just encouraging you to go beyond the typical punchline in your comics.

And if I am not clear in what I mean, just let me know and I'll clarify, even give some examples.

(*) Which is what the last panel is akin to-- a punchline. If you were to construct the comic strip like a joke, the idea of "putting the parts back in" would be the premise, and the last panel is the punchline. But I'm sure that's pretty obvious.

Mort · Post by **Mort** » Sat Apr 04, 2009 4:47

Galaxieretter wrote:For example, does his dad suspect that someone is taking shots of his liquor stash or does he simply not notice? Commander Keen would be in a bind if he ever had to use the whole bottle on his outer space flights.

Actually, my original idea for the ending of the "Episode 1" strips was to have Keen arrive at the Castle only to find that the Vorticon Commander had consumed the entire bottle of Everclear (and tries to fight Keen Drunken-Master style), leaving Keen to find some other way to get home... Of couse that would have been like 50 strips and probably a good number of years into the future.

MortimerInBlack wrote:Those ways might be more fun, but i think his parents already know that Billy has a 'toy' rocket ship that he made. After all, it's huge, and impossible to miss.

They proly just think its a toy or a life size model, and don't mind giving him the 'props' for it.

Yeah, but the car battery? I suppose if they were particularly encouraging of his hobbies, but even so I thought adding this bit of complexity might make things more interesting.

Lava89 wrote:As for some unsolicited but constructive criticism: even though this last one had some good art (as always) and I liked the fresh premise of Keen having to put the parts back in, I thought the punchline (*) could've dug a little deeper -- as MortimerInBlack pointed out (though not in criticisim), the "stun the parents" idea has already been done in Keen 4: Oracle....I'm not saying it's horrible, I am just encouraging you to go beyond the typical punchline in your comics.

Well, mimicing episode 4 was intentional. I wanted to imply that episode 4 wasn't an isolated insident and that maybe this is how Keen routinely deals with problems with his parents (at least the ones related to his alter ego).

But I agree that this particular strip doesn't exactly hit a home run. Quite frankly, I haven't been completely happy with any of my strips except for #000, #029, and the practice one with the Foobs. I haven't been able to do a real laugh-out-loud one for a while. So I do kind of know what you mean, but if you have any examples let me know.

Commander Spleen · Post by **Commander Spleen** » Sat Apr 04, 2009 7:20

I've laughed noisly at many of these comics, including this latest one. Keep them up, sir. Even if they're out of chronological order--I'd love to see that drunken Vorticon Master comic.

Lava89 · Post by **Lava89** » Sat Apr 04, 2009 7:46

Mort wrote: Well, mimicing episode 4 was intentional. I wanted to imply that episode 4 wasn't an isolated insident and that maybe this is how Keen routinely deals with problems with his parents (at least the ones related to his alter ego).

Ah ok, my bad then.

Mort wrote: But I agree that this particular strip doesn't exactly hit a home run. Quite frankly, I haven't been completely happy with any of my strips except for #000, #029, and the practice one with the Foobs. I haven't been able to do a real laugh-out-loud one for a while.

Ah yes, the overly critical self-critic, I can relate.

Commander Spleen wrote:I've laughed noisly at many of these comics, including this latest one.

Don't get me wrong, I don't think all of them have been humorless. I've only noted this one and one other when I noticed a slight dip in how funny they were, but even this latest one, as I pointed out before, had a fairly fresh premise-- I just think the payoff had more potential.

If I don't find something funny I'd rather be constructive then feel cheap and be dishonest. So far I've found them to be very funny as well, and so far I've pointed out all of the ones that I didn't find as funny.

Have I hammered to death the word "funny" yet?

Mort · Post by **Mort** » Fri Apr 24, 2009 11:06

I didn't want this one to be part of the (un)official strip since it doesn't have Keen in it, but...

http://bt-01.deviantart.com/art/CK-scraps-12-120303562

jonnyspeight · Post by **jonnyspeight** » Fri Apr 24, 2009 11:34

MortimerInBlack · Post by **MortimerInBlack** » Fri Apr 24, 2009 20:35

is that a meep and vortiwoman? lol and they fall in love?

NTimer · Post by **NTimer** » Fri Apr 24, 2009 20:46

Why don't you just read the description? It's obviously a Lick and a Vortiwoman, since they both breathe fire.

Cool comic, by the way.

shikadi · Post by **shikadi** » Sat Apr 25, 2009 10:33

licks and vortimom have more things similair then breathing fire
they are both
firebreathers
have lightblue skins
firebreathers
have eyes
are firebreathers

and... wel they are firebreathers

Post by **KeenRush** » Sat Apr 25, 2009 11:38

What an idea! Nicely drawn.

Mort · Post by **Mort** » Sun May 03, 2009 23:51

SPOT!!!!!!

http://keencomic.blogspot.com/2009/05/037.html

Commander Spleen · Post by **Commander Spleen** » Mon May 04, 2009 0:17

Hahaha, nice. High intelligence comes in handy for many things besides building space craft!

MortimerInBlack · Post by **MortimerInBlack** » Mon May 04, 2009 4:43

This rates a 9.5 on my super-cute-o-meter.

XkyRauh · Post by **XkyRauh** » Tue May 05, 2009 1:49

Kind of wordy for such limited horizontal space--I feel like the words conflict with the compositional flow of the work. It's still an endearing message, and nicely done. :)

Arjak · Post by **Arjak** » Tue May 05, 2009 15:28

I actually discovered this comic on the 3D Realms forum, and I have to say that it's been a treat reading it. It captures the essence of the story and characters in a way I haven't seen before!

I actually bookmarked the comic blog so that I can read the newest ones easily.

Finally, that Mortimer at School comic BLEW MY MIND. That's exactly how I imagined him acting in my fantasies about what a Commander Keen movie would be like. To be honest, I think that should be an official comic, because it's a perfect introduction to the character, it instantly sets the tone of his relationship with Keen, and it would be a great way to make the readers hate him, and cheer at the conclusion of possible future story arcs.

Public Commander Keen Forum

Commander Keen: the comic strip

extra

37

THIS IS AWESOME!