Corrupt A Wish game

keenmaster486 · Post by **keenmaster486** » Thu Sep 29, 2016 2:20

Granted. You are transported to 2300 hours Sunday night, which is still technically the weekend.

I wish I was in New England right now.

mortimermcmirestinks · Post by **mortimermcmirestinks** » Thu Sep 29, 2016 4:23

Granted. Time shifts around so "right now" is 1066, when England as we know it today is brand new. You end up there and get killed by a drunk Saxon.

I wish for unlimited power.

Post by **Keening_Product** » Thu Sep 29, 2016 5:07

Granted. The power comes with enlightenment, and you realise you muddled up England and New England in your last post. You become so uncertain about everything you think you know you are crippled by anxiety and self doubt and never take advantage of your power.

I wish I had unlimited energy.

nanomekia · Post by **nanomekia** » Thu Sep 29, 2016 17:05

Granted. You have so much energy your atoms vibrate on a previously unknown frequency and tear themselves to bits.

I wish I had a white peach.

keenmaster486 · Post by **keenmaster486** » Thu Sep 29, 2016 17:31

Granted. Except it's not actually a peach, it's a baseball. You mistake it for a peach and try to eat it, with predictable results.

I wish I had a pair of really nice Audio Technica headphones.

mortimermcmirestinks · Post by **mortimermcmirestinks** » Sat Oct 01, 2016 1:59

Granted. You now have no ears.

I wish people had gotten the New England/"new" England joke I made.

Post by **Levellass** » Sat Oct 01, 2016 5:57

Granted. However now everyone can only laugh at obscure and unusual things, effectively eliminating humor and plunging the world into eternal, global depression.

I wish I had a single,perfect sugar cube.

Benvolio · Post by **Benvolio** » Sat Oct 01, 2016 9:48

Granted. You are given a single perfect sugar cube with a live attenuated polio vaccine on it but you put the sugar cube in a mug of hot tea and the vaccine is destroyed so you are not covered and then you get polio and die.

I wish I was a rabbit.

nanomekia · Post by **nanomekia** » Sat Oct 01, 2016 21:15

Granted. You're now stuck in your Bunny Basher game for eternity.

I wish I wasn't coming down with a chest cold.

keenmaster486 · Post by **keenmaster486** » Sat Oct 01, 2016 23:58

Granted. It turns out to be tuberculosis and you die, subsequently infecting a good proportion of the rest of the population and causing a worldwide plague/apocalypse. The only survivors are Vladimir Putin and my sister, who duke it out over who gets to rule the now empty planet. There's only one possible winner there (hint: it's not Vlad)

I wish I could play the guitar.

mortimermcmirestinks · Post by **mortimermcmirestinks** » Mon Oct 03, 2016 4:30

Granted. You are now so good at guitar that anyone who looks in your direction immediately hates you from envy, with the exception of incredibly irritating guitar-playing frat boys.

I wish I knew what I was doing.

Post by **Keening_Product** » Mon Oct 03, 2016 5:56

Granted. You know nothing.

I wish I had finished writing this letter before Australia Post's international postage rate went up.

keenmaster486 · Post by **keenmaster486** » Mon Oct 03, 2016 6:18

Granted. But the rate of inflation suddenly increases in your country due to a clerical error in which the printing presses start churning out trillions of new hundred-dollar bills for no good reason. Your savings become useless, and postage now costs more than when the rates went up.

I wish I had done my homework earlier today instead of waiting until now.

MoffD · Post by **MoffD** » Mon Oct 03, 2016 18:20

keenmaster486 wrote:Granted. But the rate of inflation suddenly increases in your country due to a clerical error in which the printing presses start churning out trillions of new hundred-dollar bills for no good reason. Your savings become useless, and postage now costs more than when the rates went up.

I wish I had done my homework earlier today instead of waiting until now.

Granted. You finish your work by inverse working. This causes you to submit work made of antimatter. The body count steadily rises.

I wish the love of my life wasn't allergic to radishes.

nanomekia · Post by **nanomekia** » Mon Oct 03, 2016 19:10

Granted. You are now allergic to radishes instead.

I wish my cat hadn't kept me up till 6 AM.