Public Commander Keen Forum

Granted. Ẅ̷̢͍͙͉̗͔͇͓̯̄͂̌͑̽̏̿́̓ͅḦ̷̡͓̣̦͕̙̲̦̖́̃͐͆̈́̈̀̓̓̓͜Ä̵̧̛̩̝̫͕̤̣̰͍̗́̉͊̒̒̊̾̕͘T̵͚̟̹̖͇͉͍̖̱͂͑̈́̈́͌̌̾̅̾̄ͅ ̸̨̦͓̳͎̳̹̘̳̂̂̃́͗̐̅̃̚͜͝H̵̡̭̖̙͈̗̠̫̣̓̍̏͊̆́̓̃̾͠ͅÅ̶̛͇̗̟̝̦̬̝͙̜̅̽̍͛́͗̕͝ͅṾ̷̛̛̯̰̹̟̠̭̞͎̟́̋̾̒̈́̏͝͠E̴̗͚͚͈͉͎̫̮͓̰͐͊̈́͊̾̈̄͘̚͝ ̵̹̼̟̼̺̥̺͍̥͖͋̐̑̀͂̈̕̚͘̚Ỳ̶̡̱̙̘̖̘̻͍̪̘̀̎̄̅̽͆̄̃͝Ȯ̷̡̧̫̻͍̝̞̞̲̓̌̏̌̊̈̀̈̚͜U̸̧͉͈̖͚̺̼͓͛̔̈́̿͊͌͐̀̆̕͜ͅ ̷̨̨̛͇̙͙͎̖̩̤̏̏̽̾͂̈́͘͝͝ͅD̴̢̧̮̯̱̣͚͙̹͕̾̂͗́̐͒̾́̕͝Ö̶̡̗̼̹̣͔͕͇̤̠̊͐͑͗͗͋͂̍̕Ņ̴̣̟͉̦̟̗̰͎̰̍͆͋̒̏͌͌̊̕̚E̴̡̢̗̩̟͈̞̞̰͓͆̀͊̿̓̐̆̍̌͝

I wish it wasn't going to snow.

Granted. No snow fun for you!

I wish it would snow.

Granted, nanomekia is erased from existence. not merely killed, they never were. Reality is rewritten,memories changed, lives altered. So the wish was never made and snow may appear for you. Now you, only you preserve their memory, the memory of a world that once was and a life that is no more.

I wish pretzels.

Granted. Except pretzels don't exist as a result of me having never been a part of this timeline, which has disrupted quantum physics, tied knots in string theory and caused several nearby stars to go supernova, so everyone thinks you're crazy for wanting this preht-zulllll thing.

I wish I existed again.

Granted. However due to quantum superposition caused by granting a wish while not existing some details about your life are changed. You are no longer married to a supermodel, your vast personal fortune as inventor of a popular snackfood is absent, you did not purchase the rights to Keen and your performance in bed is no longer legend. This things have always been true and all you remember.

But hey, you didn't miss too much, I'm sure.


I wish I bought a bag of air but there were chips inside.

Granted. You buy a bag of air and there are two chips in it. Enjoy.

I wish people would stop playing Christmas music for Thanksgiving.

Granted. Your presents now consist entirely of Halloween candy.

I wish my pi would run x86 instructions faster.

Granted. It runs them faster than the speed of light and explodes, causing a quantum instability and destroying the universe. Sorry!

I wish for an actual quantum explosion device so I can cause doomsday and take the whole universe with me when I die.

Granted. Your plans are foiled by an eight year old child with a raygun.

I wish my hand wasn't both numb and cold.

Granted. It is numb and hot.

I wish I had a sticky note.

Granted. Kevin Spacey then informs you WHY it's sticky, but only after you already touched it.

I wish I had a mustache.

Granted. This is because you are a man. I am sincerely sorry.

I wish for whitewall tires.

Granted. However, the wish fulfilling machine was listening to Oasis, got confused, and now you have Wonderwall tires. No refunds.

I wish there were green chilies in my nacho sauce.

Granted. But your nacho sauce is teleported to Mars the next instant.

I wish the Wall Street Journal didn't cost $5.00.

Granted. Now you have to enter the lottery each time you buy one, a randomly drawn number dictates what you'll pay. Your first issue costs you $37.50.

I wish this thread was broken.