an animation I once made

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Bernie
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an animation I once made

Post by Bernie » Tue Jul 23, 2013 15:42

check out this animation I made about 6 years ago (if you want). I love the idea and story in it (its about spaceships and magic), but its pretty technically badly made. a few people i know who i showed it to seem to all hate my narration I did at the beginning :p plus i dont have anything else to do on this site:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mu8ru6A1Bt0

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MoffD
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Re: an animation I once made

Post by MoffD » Tue Jul 23, 2013 15:54

Bernie wrote:check out this animation I made about 6 years ago (if you want). I love the idea and story in it (its about spaceships and magic), but its pretty technically badly made. a few people i know who i showed it to seem to all hate my narration I did at the beginning :p plus i dont have anything else to do on this site:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mu8ru6A1Bt0
Interesting... So was that LSD in the ship? :D

I like the drawing style but I agree that the narration needed work.
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Bernie
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Post by Bernie » Tue Jul 23, 2013 16:37

i made the whole thing in around a month, so i rushed it. i dont want to do anything more with it though.

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troublesomekeen
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Post by troublesomekeen » Wed Jul 24, 2013 0:01

Very good! I enjoyed that. It deserves a remake. Thank you for sharing! :)
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tulip
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Post by tulip » Wed Jul 24, 2013 7:42

nice ending. I think spleen will approve
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Post by Plasma Captain » Wed Jul 24, 2013 18:15

Hahhhhahahahahah! This is awesome.

I don't care what anyone says about the narration. It was pretty fantastic (though a bit too quiet). I'm not sure if you were legitimately going for what might be best described as as an "awkwardly bumbling" approach with your storytelling, but regardless of your intentions, you pulled off something humorously dry, and I like it.

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Post by Roobar » Wed Jul 24, 2013 18:26

Deserves an Oscar!

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Post by Levellass » Thu Jul 25, 2013 4:25

Ok, the one thing stopping this from being perfect is the narration. it doesn't need to be better, it needs to be worse. more cartoony and random, like the animation itself. So when you start you should say things like 'So in like, the center of the universe, or maybe a bit off to the side there's this big ball of... magic stuff. Spaghetti. magic spaghetti. It runs everything because God is on vacation.' something like that. It would literally boost it to the quality of a lot of children's programming these days.
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Post by Bernie » Sat Jul 27, 2013 15:47

Ok, the one thing stopping this from being perfect is the narration. it doesn't need to be better, it needs to be worse.
i actually did have a worse narration at the beginning initially, but it just sounded 'unprofessional' (i.e just crap). theres a very fine line between making something crap by design, and it just coming off seeming crap. its sometimes hard to tell :(

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Post by Levellass » Sun Jul 28, 2013 6:31

Which explains half of all television.
What you really need, not what you think you ought to want.

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VikingBoyBilly
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Post by VikingBoyBilly » Sun Jul 28, 2013 14:08

Narration? All I saw was things happening and "everybody goes home"
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Post by Bernie » Mon Jul 29, 2013 3:43

heh you probly have your sound turned off :p

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