I'm starting this thread for funny Dwarf Fortress stories.
For anyone who doesn't know what it is go checkout bay12games(dot)com/dwarves
In short it's the most realistic SIM ever with ascii style graphics, the level of depth on EVERYTHING is insane and as such has the most hillarious bugs/random stuff happening
Hope there are some other DF-ers out there
Dwarf Fortress
Dwarf Fortress
mortimermcmirestinks wrote: Now I wish MoffD wasn't allergic to me.
Levellass wrote:You're an evil man.
- guynietoren
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My second to last map I played I made a cave-in trap... on the surface. Didn't realize that it would screw with my fort for several floors down below it.
My current map I'm working on a flood reservoir for invaders. Wanted to have some Temple of Doom action. Sadly I didn't finish it and hadn't played it since.
One thing I thought odd about the game. When you start having an economy, your dudes start wanting coins made. You stick the coins in a store room, and they just automatically go get money after they've finished a days work. No one has a the job of paying them. They just go off the honor system. Of course because nothing they do is secret I suppose. Just still seems odd.
My current map I'm working on a flood reservoir for invaders. Wanted to have some Temple of Doom action. Sadly I didn't finish it and hadn't played it since.
One thing I thought odd about the game. When you start having an economy, your dudes start wanting coins made. You stick the coins in a store room, and they just automatically go get money after they've finished a days work. No one has a the job of paying them. They just go off the honor system. Of course because nothing they do is secret I suppose. Just still seems odd.
- guynietoren
- Vorticon Elite
- Posts: 886
- Joined: Sat Mar 13, 2010 2:57
- Location: Kansas City
- Contact:
I often play Dwarf Fortress in bursts, myself. Something along the lines of "hey, this was fun, I haven't played this in a while huh" and then many, many hours later I remember "oh yeah, this is why I don't play it anymore". Never have I encountered a more effective timesink.
As for stories, how about the time I hadn't realised the fort wasn't brewing any alcohol until, in the middle of winter with no water supply available, my carpenter dropped dead of thirst in his workshop. I think another dwarf died out in the fields trying to gather crops to be brewed. I managed to get the fort back on track for a moment before I was quickly wiped out by a goblin ambush which I was totally unprepared for.
Another fun tale of fortress misery was in a moderately established fort, where it turned out that the mayor of the fort was a vampire. Somehow, despite the fact that I'd caught the bugger draining victims of their blood in populated, public spaces, none of the other dwarves caught on. In lieu of cleaner methods of removing him from office (and life/undeath), I had a Dwarven Atom Smasher constructed (more colloquially known as a drawbridge) and him placed under it. All was well... until I realised that the next elected mayor was also a vampire. Off to the Dwarven Atom Smasher he also went. But the tale doesn't end there, oh no. The ghost of this vampiric noble decided to take it upon himself to haunt my fort eternally until he was given a proper burial. Due to his particular method of demise, however, there wasn't really anything left to bury. Lacking a body, or any parts thereof, one can engrave a memorial to the departed to quiet their restless soul. So I checked at the workshop, but his name wasn't on the list (due to a bug in that version). A memorial could not be made. To this day, his ghost still haunts that fortress.
As for stories, how about the time I hadn't realised the fort wasn't brewing any alcohol until, in the middle of winter with no water supply available, my carpenter dropped dead of thirst in his workshop. I think another dwarf died out in the fields trying to gather crops to be brewed. I managed to get the fort back on track for a moment before I was quickly wiped out by a goblin ambush which I was totally unprepared for.
Another fun tale of fortress misery was in a moderately established fort, where it turned out that the mayor of the fort was a vampire. Somehow, despite the fact that I'd caught the bugger draining victims of their blood in populated, public spaces, none of the other dwarves caught on. In lieu of cleaner methods of removing him from office (and life/undeath), I had a Dwarven Atom Smasher constructed (more colloquially known as a drawbridge) and him placed under it. All was well... until I realised that the next elected mayor was also a vampire. Off to the Dwarven Atom Smasher he also went. But the tale doesn't end there, oh no. The ghost of this vampiric noble decided to take it upon himself to haunt my fort eternally until he was given a proper burial. Due to his particular method of demise, however, there wasn't really anything left to bury. Lacking a body, or any parts thereof, one can engrave a memorial to the departed to quiet their restless soul. So I checked at the workshop, but his name wasn't on the list (due to a bug in that version). A memorial could not be made. To this day, his ghost still haunts that fortress.
Shonikado wrote:Looking back on what we've done and wanting to change it is the first step in becoming a weakling that cannot do anything.
My last play was really irritating,
I had a fairly substantial fort running in an icy northern area when I started getting invaders
First: Necromancers came, I quickly sealed my fort from the outside so they couldn't get in (as I had no military at the time)
Second: Goblins came and were massacred by the necromancers
Third: Kobolds Came and killed all but 1 zombie before dying
Fourth: More Necros' came and started camping outside my fort with no way of killing them (they wouldn't get close to my outside atom smashers)
That fort survived a long time after that because I had made it self sustaining inside (except for herd animals dying from lack of grass)
But was completely cutoff and I had a population explosion to top it off.
The funny thing was that the Necromancers had come from a tower a distance from the fort, and one Necromancer was holding a book called "Give Me the Tower" that he had written, describing why he thought he should be in charge
I had a fairly substantial fort running in an icy northern area when I started getting invaders
First: Necromancers came, I quickly sealed my fort from the outside so they couldn't get in (as I had no military at the time)
Second: Goblins came and were massacred by the necromancers
Third: Kobolds Came and killed all but 1 zombie before dying
Fourth: More Necros' came and started camping outside my fort with no way of killing them (they wouldn't get close to my outside atom smashers)
That fort survived a long time after that because I had made it self sustaining inside (except for herd animals dying from lack of grass)
But was completely cutoff and I had a population explosion to top it off.
The funny thing was that the Necromancers had come from a tower a distance from the fort, and one Necromancer was holding a book called "Give Me the Tower" that he had written, describing why he thought he should be in charge
mortimermcmirestinks wrote: Now I wish MoffD wasn't allergic to me.
Levellass wrote:You're an evil man.