"The Brightest Star" -- An Interpretation of Mortimer's Backstory

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proYorp
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"The Brightest Star" -- An Interpretation of Mortimer's Backstory

Post by proYorp »

It's been quite a while since there has been a good old-fashioned fanfiction around here, hasn't it?

Those of you that have been around for awhile (and those that have searched through the older discussions on here) may remember that circa 2009, a community project was begun to transform the story of the Commander Keen games into a series of "novelizations." What was most interesting about this project, I think, is that it was "open source" in a manner of speaking. The idea was started by pizza2004, and then many other members contributed their own modifications and iterations, some even creating their own "forks" of the story, so to speak. It was a community effort; a purely creative endeavor.

Commander Keen Book by pizza2004 et al.
Commander Keen Novelization - Arjak's version / WordPress mirror
Commander Keen: Defender Of Earth! (lite fanfiction) by Lava89

Sadly, none of these interpretations made it to the actual story of the Commander Keen games, remaining a collection of prequel narratives. Expanding the entire plot of two trilogies plus extra material into a full series of novels is indeed a lofty goal. Though it was relatively short-lived, years later these efforts caught the attention of a wandering and unknown admirer.

Invisible and yet unnamed, I stumbled upon these undeveloped stories as I was beginning to explore this dimension called the Internet. The unfinished nature of them called to my imagination to envision them in greater detail, which somehow made them more engaging than the "real" novels I had been binge-reading around that time. I'd never seen anything quite like this, and this experience launched me into a phase of haunting this forum to absorb every bit of Commander Keen writing I could get my hands on. Meanwhile I found that, by golly, there are real people on here. Not just any people, either. People I could relate to, who shared similar thoughts and experiences to my own, which was very rare for me to see. It brought me a lot of comfort as I was in a very dark place at that time.



Back to today, as of creating this thread, I will now have 314 posts to my name, meaning I have reached the final automatically-assigned forum rank: Vorticon Elite. A purely cosmetic statistic, but I feel like I've now become a full-fledged Keener. And, taking advantage of a coincidental opportunity, today is also the 5th anniversary of the day that I finally joined this community.

If you haven't noticed by this point, I am deeply sentimental. I put a lot of meaning into numbers and dates, so I wanted to do something special for my 314th post. This is something I've wanted to make for some time, so I decided that as a timely homage to my introduction to PCKF, I will announce my own "fork" based on the Commander Keen Novelizations. I hope that, for all the joy that this community has brought me, I will be able to return the favor.



This time, it'll be from a slightly different perspective. :mort My version of the story actually began as a small theory I had one day about the lore of the Commander Keen universe, and then I realized it would tie in quite well with the prequel narrative that had been created here, so I opted to take inspiration from these to craft my conspiracies into something with more depth. I don't intend to follow through the entire saga of games as the others attempted to do. Instead I intend to follow a more realistically attainable goal, to complete the introduction to how the characters got to where they are by the first game. I know exactly where I want the story to end, which should hopefully negate many of the issues that I've often seen in fanfiction writing.

As each of the other takes have their own style, for instance Lava89's version with a focus on fast-paced action and comedy, or Arjak's version driven by characters and their interactions, I intend for mine to explore the characters' thoughts, emotions, and motives.

It's also the first time I've really tried to write a more emotionally-motivated narrative. I am sort of nervous about how my character portrayals will be interpreted, given that this will be viewed through the lense of a known villain. I would really appreciate reactions and feedback. (Especially if it's good -- I could always use the encouragement!)

In keeping with the "open-source" nature of these novelizations, I would like to invite others to take inspiration from my version if you wish to create your own. Though my own iteration deviates from the others in several ways, I think it would be cool to resurrect this community effort. (Although I want to reserve this thread for my current version so as to keep things organized.)



Now that I've reached it, I want to keep my post count at 314 for a little while to savor the occasion. If all goes according to plan, I will use my 315th post to publish the first chapter as a late Keen Day release, on March 15. (Mortimer Day, if you wish to call it that.) That should give me enough time to finish the remaining paragraphs... and the endless fiddling with tiny details...
...yeah don't let me take too long. :p
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Re: "The Brightest Star" -- An Interpretation of Mortimer's Backstory

Post by Quillax »

Ah, what a delightful surprise! I haven't read any of the Keen fanfictions yet; I should fix that someday! I know CC314 has a few of them. :) Your fanfiction sounds like it'll be very interesting! I don't think anyone has ever explored Mortimer's backstory beyond what was given in the official Keen games.

See you on Mortimer Day! :mort
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The Brightest Star: Chapter One

Post by proYorp »

/ / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / /
One.
/ / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / /



The probes have returned.

Mortimer stared upwards into the early evening sky, watching for a sign of them. A few large clouds hung in the air from an earlier rain shower, which annoyed him as he impatiently squinted in a vain effort to see beyond the mist.

Finally, they passed through the offending haze. Two small rockets descended down from the dusk into the fenced suburban yard and alighted on a sheet of plywood in the grass, landing neatly and precisely. As they approached the amateur landing pad, he couldn't resist displaying a look of smug satisfaction.

Exactly as calculated.



He built these rockets himself, you know. Oh, not from scratch. He had assembled them from a toy kit that was intended to teach some basic concepts about rocketry, but they were not designed to fly above a few hundred feet in the air. That is, until he modified them.

What they now were could hardly be called a toy. They had, in fact, just returned from a first test flight, completing one orbit around the Earth. Now, they sported automatic navigation control and a substantially more efficient version of the sugar-based fuel than the instruction manual directed. Mortimer had converted them from mere playthings into spaceworthy instruments of research. Rather impressive, considering the boy was only eight years old.

Mortimer was what you might call a prodigy. He was able to, almost intuitively, understand complexities such as logic and engineering. He had an especially fond interest in electronics. An interest that, he thought to himself, he was rather isolated in.



There had been a time when he'd tried to share his enthusiasm with "the general populace." Most often, when he had tried to explain his own technical prowess to other kids his own age, he was met with confusion. If they were nice they might ask questions, but they still never quite seemed to understand just what he was talking about. You may have noticed that toddlers generally do not babble about transistors and capacitors. In fact toddlers usually do not yet speak in coherent sentences, but this is precisely what Mortimer had done at that age.

You may also notice that children tend to be very blunt. Often when the other kids became overwhelmed by his long-winded and unrelenting speeches, they did not shy away from calling him names like "weird" or "annoying." Mortimer usually responded to these remarks with a punch to the stomach. He was a fighter and he would not allow himself to be insulted. Most often, attempts to relate to the other kids ended in some sort of trouble. He'd quit trying long ago, bitter at these unsatisfactory interactions.



Mortimer kneeled down to inspect the rockets. Starting with the one on the left, he carefully pried open a side panel to expose the instruments housed inside. Many small devices lay carefully tucked into the hollow space inside the tube-shaped body of the rocket. Things to measure and log the acceleration and velocity, things to detect and capture certain radio frequencies, and something that looked almost like a gyroscope. Most of the instruments housed in the rocket were mirrored in its twin for redundancy. These would allow Mortimer to understand exactly how their flight had transpired, despite not being there himself.

As he worked away at his analysis, he wondered just how many of his peers would have any knowledge or appreciation of these matters. He rolled his eyes; he knew the answer. He knew he'd show all of them what he was capable of. He'd show off, certainly. Even if he didn't have their understanding, he still wanted their recognition.



The remaining clouds had mostly dissipated by now, leaving the fading red sky visible with a few early stars. Mortimer stood up and turned to face the South, directing his eyes just above the roofs of the neighboring houses, and there gazed upon his goal.

Sirius. The brightest star visible from Earth. Technically speaking, it was two stars orbiting each other in such close proximity that they appeared as one. One would think that this would aid in their vivid appearance, though the smaller of the two was tiny in comparison to its companion.

Mortimer watched as the star pulsed rapidly over the skyline. Red then white, green then blue. The vibrant energy stirred something in him that made him feel alive. Maybe it was hope.

Men had set foot on the Moon. Rovers had been sent to Mars. But no one had ever sent anything outside of our own Solar System. Mortimer wanted to be the first, and he was confident he could do it.

He shivered slightly. There was beginning to be a chill in the air. Typical weather around this time of year, just before Spring. Wisconsin was known for its bitterly cold winters. He tightened his jacket and continued working.



The back door of the house opened. Mortimer's older sister, Molly, called from the doorstep.

"Mortimer! It's time to come inside for the night!"

Mortimer didn't respond. He didn't much care about what she told him to do.

At this point he needed to utilize a small flashlight to see what he was working with. He continued tinkering with his gadgets, taking note of the state of everything inside and outside, gathering as much information as he could from this small experiment so he could apply the knowledge to future projects. Every detail was important. If any of the instruments had been disturbed, he would need to note down that their readouts may be unreliable. Even the slight scuff marks on the outside told an important story about what sort of debris they had come up against. He would need to recalibrate some of the--

"Mortimer! Come on!" Molly shouted. "Don't make me get Mom!"

The calibration could wait. Mortimer grabbed the two rockets and hurried inside. He brushed right past Molly and headed down the stairs into the basement. Or, as he liked to think of it, the Laboratory.



Dim and musty, this was his sanctuary. No one else ever wanted to come down here. Even so, he made sure to take measures to preserve its isolation. While he didn't care how long they called to him while he was outside, here he was careful to respond as promptly as he could so they would not be tempted to come down and bother him, and to give credibility to those times when he really could not be interrupted.

He walked from the stairway through a path in between the concrete wall, and piles of boxes and loose clutter. He didn't know what was in most of the old boxes stored down here. A lot of it had belonged to his dad.

The back corner of the basement was where Mortimer did most of his tinkering. Here he had a table and desk for his projects and research. Two short, wide windows positioned near the ceiling allowed for ventilation when he needed it.



Mortimer walked over to the worktable and turned on a lamp, revealing an electric burner, a small saucepan, and canning jars from a recent chemistry experiment; several hefty textbooks on subjects such as aerodynamics, psychology, and circuitry; and a Commodore 64 computer on the nearby desk.

He placed the two small rockets on the table, along with the tools from his pocket and the notes he had been taking. He turned to the side of the room, where there was a space on the floor occupied by a few sheets of scrap metal, buckets of some unknown sticky substance, and a few meshes of wire frame that were being shaped into something. It didn't look like much yet, but these were the beginnings of a starship, and this would be his gateway into the galaxies.
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Re: "The Brightest Star" -- An Interpretation of Mortimer's Backstory

Post by Benvolio »

Haha fantastic! Hopefully more shall follow soon! The high IQ shines through in his thought processes, and a fortitude of character beyond his young years.
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Re: "The Brightest Star" -- An Interpretation of Mortimer's Backstory

Post by proYorp »

Thank you for the comment Benvolio! :) Was there anything in particular that stood out to you?

Benvolio wrote: Wed Mar 16, 2022 6:17 Hopefully more shall follow soon!
I think before I do any more actual writing I want to get the rest of the story thoroughly plotted out, and plan which events are going to happen in each chapter. I've had most of this introductory chapter in my mind since Summer of 2020 when I came up with the story idea and wrote down a draft of the first paragraph. I didn't really start trying to fully write this chapter out until New Year's Eve a few months ago, when I realized this is probably the most feasible thing to do for a special post. So it's not a very fast process for me lol. Trying a new creative method for this, where I just casually write the ideas out as they flow and not try to force things that might not fit. I think the pace was something like a few sentences every few days or so.

Aside from the slow pace I've been following here, and other projects I had wanted to work on besides, I'm not really sure at this point when I'm actually going to be able to work on this again. I'm suddenly dealing with a lot right now and I currently have zero idea of what my free time is going to look like for the next ever. Life is bizarre.


That said, I'd still appreciate feedback from anyone that has it. I'm sure I'll respond to it eventually even if I'm not able to see it right away.
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Re: "The Brightest Star" -- An Interpretation of Mortimer's Backstory

Post by Quillax »

Alright, I finally decided to read the first chapter, and wow, that's good! :mort It's neat to learn about who Mortimer used to be like; while still a smart kid, he seemed a lot more hopeful and to have better intentions than whom he would eventually become by the Keen games. I wonder what happened to him; it's a bit sad that he never got along well with anyone. Makes me wonder about Billy's experience. :) You can tell from this writing that Mortimer's a very smart kid for sure, even in his toddler days!

Looking forward to more!

EDIT: Holy Garg, 400 posts!? I swear, I hit 300 not that long ago...
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