Page 1 of 1

World Mental Health Day

Posted: Mon Oct 10, 2022 22:55
by proYorp
Hi... Well this feels like a long shot, but I've been thinking about doing this for awhile. I wanted to take the opportunity to try to open a discussion about something that has been one of the most dominant parts of my own life.

I've had... some experience with mental health issues throughout the few years I've spent on this planet. I've both felt the effects first-hand and been affected by it second-hand. Painful depression. Complications from ADHD. Net-zero self-esteem. Some things I prefer not to name. Some I don't have a name for. I think I've had to cope with mental problems in some form or another for basically my whole life. I'm finally improving, but it's much slower than I'd like.

Talking about it is always uncomfortable as hell. Somehow I still end up trying to make an effort to share when I can, because for me, the most encouraging thing has always been hearing from people in the same situation. I want to be that voice for someone. Honestly that's essentially all I want in life, to connect with people that have been through similar experiences. Supposedly there's no way to do that without opening up, to my constant chagrin... I'll stop rambling now.

I only learned that October 10th is recognized as Mental Health Day last year, and I don't think I'm likely to forget the fact very soon. Funny story. Around late October, I stumbled upon some video that said it was published for Mental Health Day and I thought "oh interesting! when is that?" When I looked up the date, I couldn't help but laugh at the poetic irony of it... it was the same day that I had experienced a panic attack. That was certainly a day that I was sharply aware of just how good my mental health was not.

I have no idea if anyone else would be open to discussing this sort of thing. I don't know if I can even trust myself to be able to engage because of all the stress I've been under recently. But I want to at least ask... does anyone want to talk?

Re: World Mental Health Day

Posted: Tue Oct 11, 2022 12:15
by Nospike
Hey Pro. I'm a day late to the party but I hope you had a pleasant day and that every other one will be like that from now on. :)

Sounds like you don't have it easy at all. I can't relate to all your struggles but I sympathize with you 100%. I've had some issues myself with self esteem, social anxiety and my relationship with other people and the world at large. So far 2022 has been very kind to me and I've made large strides. Like you said, however, progress feels very slow when you look at the big picture and compare your position to yours and others' expectations. But that's okay. I still feel proud when I look back into last year just around this time and see how far I've come. And it sounds like you have something to be proud of as well. :)

Take care and keep on Keening, I'm sure I'm not the only one who greatly appreciates your presence on these forums. :)

Re: World Mental Health Day

Posted: Thu Nov 03, 2022 7:55
by proYorp
Thank you so much Nospike for taking the time to write such a thoughtful message. :'( <3 I think I really needed to hear all of that. And here I was beside myself worried I'd be absolutely ghosted... (Don't worry about being a day late, it's a slow forum I know... of course anyone is welcome to reply on any days that are not October 10. :o Sorry it took me a few weeks to check in...)

Jesus, my nerves paid the price for this. :dead Really made me wonder why tf did I do this to myself, bringing this clear out into the open. I mean, I know why; I calculated everything beforehand. There's this allure given by the anonymity of text, that I could successfully disguise my personality, that no one would have to see how screwy I am... but it's not realistic, at least in my case. :-| By posting more often I make myself more visible and my dumb quirks bleed through the words. They noticeably impact my personality and directly affect how I interact with people, even in text. I can't hide it, as much as I want to. :no Not completely.

I mean, I could, if everything I wrote was strictly filtered, unemotional with no opinion. But that takes so much more time. It's a lot more comfortable, sure, but it's not as fulfilling and I don't think I actually want to do that. :confused Commander Keen and mods and PCKF has been my main hobby for however many years. I guess I'm just hoping that I'll be allowed to be myself while I do it. Image This is a forum of decades and the personal connections made here are not short-lived. I want to be a part of that. :'( And to give others the chance to be as well. Even if it may need to involve sharing personal stories to work (...or is this oversharing? :foot I can't tell...).

And you're right, I have actually improved a lot... :) I can't forget that, it's the best part! Certainly it's the part that I'm most eager to share stories about. I would not have been able to push through all the chaos thrown at me recently if not for the progress I've made just in the last year. (Still am cracking under the pressure, but that's what counseling is for. :D) I don't think I'll ever have depression as bad as that one time again... It'll be a while yet before I can say that every day is a good one, but the thought that someone here wishes that for me absolutely means the world to me. :'( <3

I guess the fact that I was even able to start this topic marks a lot of improvement... I'd tried to do something like this a few times but I just didn't have the guts... (Though I have touched on the topic of mental health a few times, just not so... thoroughly. :dead) It's the strangest thing, when I was finally able to post that, I actually felt relieved. Serene, even. :confused That has never happened before with posting anything to the internet. Absolutely bizarre. And I guess... I guess I did feel proud of myself. :o (And then the nerves kicked in, dear god... :barf yeah social anxiety = the actual worst)

So then, why did I write all this anyway? :confused Because this is... really important to me. Mental health is something I'm passionate about, and I'm fascinated by all that goes into it. Obviously a lot of that is because it's something I've had to contend with so much in myself. I hope someday I'll figure it out enough to be able to help other people as well. That's my goal. This is who I am. :)
ok time to psych myself out again about getting ignored lets go x~x happy halloween